Listen up, you bunch of sneezy numbnuts! It’s time to talk about something that should be common sense but apparently isn’t for some brainless wonders out there. So strap on your seatbelts and get ready for a wild ride through the land of basic hygiene.
The Art of Not Being an Inconsiderate A**hole
Picture this: you’re minding your own business, enjoying a lovely stroll in the park when suddenly, out of nowhere, someone unleashes a monstrous sneeze without even bothering to cover their face. The audacity! It’s like they think their snot is some kind of magical fairy dust that everyone wants to inhale. Well newsflash, Captain Clueless – nobody wants your germs raining down on them like it’s Armageddon.
We live in a society where we’ve managed to put people on the moon and create smartphones smarter than most politicians (which isn’t saying much). Yet somehow, we still have individuals who can’t grasp the concept of using their damn elbow or tissue when they feel an eruption coming on. Are these people raised by wolves? Did they miss out on basic manners during their upbringing? Or are they just too self-absorbed to give two sh*ts about anyone else?
Avoiding Germ Warfare 101
If you want to avoid being labeled as Patient Zero in our very own outbreak movie sequel, here are some simple guidelines for keeping your bodily fluids contained:
First off, invest in some tissues or carry them around like it’s your new fashion statement. When that tickle starts creeping up your nostrils and you know sh*t is about to go down – grab a tissue, you nincompoop! And for the love of all that is holy, don’t just hold it in your hand like some kind of trophy. That’s not how this works. Use the tissue to cover your mouth and nose, trapping those nasty germs inside.
If you’re caught off guard without a tissue handy (which happens to the best of us), then do us all a favor and sneeze into your elbow crevice. Yes, that little nook where your arm bends – it’s not just there for show, genius! It’s like having a built-in germ shield right on your body. So use it!
The Bottom Line: Cover Your Freaking Face!
Look, I get it – sneezes can be sudden and catch you by surprise. But that doesn’t give you an excuse to unleash them upon innocent bystanders like some sort of biological weapon experiment gone wrong.
We’re living in unprecedented times where wearing masks has become as common as breathing air (or at least it should be). So if you have any decency left in that sorry excuse for a human being called yourself, keep your mask on when you feel the urge to let out a mighty sneeze.
Remember folks: covering your face isn’t just about protecting yourself; it’s about showing respect for others around you. Don’t be an ignorant d*ckwad who thinks their bodily fluids are worth sharing with the world. Keep calm, cover up, and save humanity from unnecessary germ warfare one sneeze at a time.
